I Ate a Banana Today
Considering the upcoming mass virtue signaling . . .
Instead of slapping on an “I Voted” sticker, I propose placing a Chiquita Banana sticker on your chest. For one it’s a good symbol the fact that we are very close to living in a banana republic. Additionally it has about as much important symbolism since eating a banana has about as much affect on the outcome of the electoral process much less our well-being in this society as does voting.
I borrow this idea from Penn Jillette. He started this tradition as a way of knocking another religion, one I happen to belong to, Catholicism—specifically wearing ashes on our foreheads on Ash Wednesday. Back when he was more cantankerous, he wore a Chiquita Banana sticker on his forehead on Ash Wednesdays.
It was a provocative action that I think actually was a bit hateful, which served to weaken the point he wanted to make. Nonetheless, it was very effective at provoking Catholics in particular and the faithful in general suggesting that what they were doing was frivolous.
While I do not share his opinion that ashes on the forehead is a worthless activity—the symbolism and the act is the value—I am willing to extend it to the concept of voting.
You might protest that the voting sticker is symbolism as well, but symbolism of what exactly? Voting isn't a magical way of deriving good outcomes. Encouraging others to vote is generally irresponsible as voting is often an unethical act, and it otherwise pollutes the voting pool diluting good (informed) votes.1
Voting is only as good as the potential goodness of the outcomes for which it can result. Two muggers and a little, old lady aren't in a just or better world if they begin their interactions with a show of hands for what comes next. The fact that you voted can’t redeem unjust acts.
By putting a sticker on we demean the very democratic foundations and principles for which the republic was founded. The sticker screams, “I did my part . . . I'm in the club . . . What, me worry?”2
Generally this empty virtue signaling would be dismissible but forgettable. Yet it is worse than that. In the faithful practice of the religion of voting we abdicate responsibility for good government. Voting is not enough—again, it is magical thinking not magical action.
If it were enough, then what the hell are we fighting for? Voter turnout has risen in recent years hitting about 67% in the 2020 presidential election. I don't think getting to the 80% bar that was common in the 1800s will suddenly give us good much less great government.
Very often not voting is the most responsible decision. This is not just because very few of us are informed enough to cast a reasonable vote. There is value in the symbolism of abstention.
“Don't vote . . . it just encourages them” is not just a funny bumper sticker. It contains a great deal of truth.
And so with all of that said, I did vote (absentee ballot). I am confident that I do have enough information to confidently cast votes that are informed. I left some of the options blank on my ballot because I don't feel informed enough to actually throw some support, the littlest bit possible, toward one option or the other.
I voted for Chase Oliver for President. There are three reasons for this:
He is a far superior candidate than Harris or Trump on policy and demeanor.
As a third-party, the Libertarian Party desperately needs support, and this expression of support meaningly adds to the cause.
A vote for the Libertarian candidate is a stronger show of protest against the other two than is simply not voting.
So go read up on him, and then go vote for him . . . if you’re well informed and agree with the points I’ve offered above. If not, enjoy a banana and hope for the best.
Before you raise an objection reaching for some sacred truism that all votes matter, you might want to consider just who benefits from greater voting [spoiler alert: populists (recently Republicans) who can only win by appealing to the lowest common denominator].
It also whispers “I'm not good at math.” Notice how I made it all the way through a voting post without mentioning how your vote will NEVER determine the outcome of a large election . . . well, I made it until this footnote at least.